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You know you're from Missouri when...
- You've never met any celebrities.
- Everyone you know has been on a "Float Trip."
- "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.
- You've see all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they were popular.
- You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For example, "Well, Sikeston only 30 minutes away."
- Down south to you means Arkansas.
- The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.
- You know several people who have hit a deer.
- You think Missouri is spelled with an"ah" at the end. (I personally hate this one...it drives me NUTS when people say "Missourah" - and this seems to be said by people NOT from Missouri usually.)
- Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
- You know what "Party Cove" is.
- Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
- You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What High School did you go to?" (St. Louis only - people in Columbia aren't so concerned - after all, we only have 3 high schools)
- You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
- You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
- You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
- You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
- You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of day.
- You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.
- You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition Example: "Where's my coat at?"
- All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
- You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.
- You went to skating parties as a kid.
- You only own three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six pages for sports.
- You think I-44 is spelled and pronounced "farty-far." (St. Louis only.)
- You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.
- You think that "deer season" is a National Holiday.
- You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and the Warrenton Outlet Mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.
- You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper. (I think this is a little exaggeration...)
- You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."
- You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, summer, Still Summer and Football.
- You know if another Missourian is from the Boot-heel, Ozarks, Eastern, Middle or Western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.
- You know that Harry S Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.
- You failed World Geography in school because you thought Cuba, Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana, Springfield, and Mexico were cities in Missouri. (And they are!)
- You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
- You know what "HOME OF THE THROWED ROLL" means.
- You actually get this and forward it to all your Missouri friends.
7 comments:
Pretty thorough. You only missed a few, to wit:
-You own at least one gun that's never been fired, and a 'huntin' dog' that's never been hunting.
-You've BBQ'd pork steaks in a snowstorm.
-You own at least one knick-knack made of red cedar.
-You stuff the Thanksgiving turkey with White Castles.
-You know what the 13th star in th Confederate flag stands for.
-You've attended the mule show in Kahoka, and eaten pizza at the gas station in town.
hehe, so true
- You are cooking meth while reading this blog.
- You know what the heck a bumper sticker that says "Mizzou-RAH" means.
- You have had an argument over whether Highway 40 should be closed completely during the redesign or not.
- You own or work at an "adult toy store" along I-70.
- You call your friends your "dirrties."
- You know that the Father of our Country is George Warshington.
tell me you've never stuffed a turkey with white castle...
in MercMan's dreams!
I personally have not stuffed a turkey with Belly Bombers, but every year around Thanksgiving, several radio/TV stations will broadcast the recipe. As I understand it, you can burp on Christmas Eve and still taste the Turkey Day meal.
Gimlet,
How do you know about the adult "toy" stores along I-70? All this time I thought you were stopping at QT!
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